


Pizza

by BeveStuscemi



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Dante Fucks a Slice of Pizza, Other, enjoy, not much else really, now with fanart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-09-29 14:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17205530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeveStuscemi/pseuds/BeveStuscemi
Summary: Dante orders a pizza with extra sausage.





	1. Chapter 1

“See you later, Dante. I’ll be back in an hour.” Nero grabbed his coat from the rack and slipped both of his arms through the holes. His uncle watched him from his desk.  
“You too? Where’s everyone going tonight?”  
Nero laughed. “In case you haven’t noticed, it’s Saturday and we’re not that busy. Lady and Trish have gone out to some car show and won’t be back until tomorrow.”  
“What about you?” Dante asked, kicking his legs over his desk and placing his dirty boots over some paperwork.  
“Going shopping. We’re out of food.” He pointed to the mini fridge just visible in the corner of Dante’s office. It was void of food, save for an opened strawberry shake.  
“You can have the rest of that if you want.” Dante shrugged as he opened his own meal of the night; an extra-large pepperoni pizza. He was a charitable man, he’d give his nephew the remains of the milkshake, however measly the portion.  
Nero scoffed.  
“Believe it or not, not all of us have the diet of a fourteen-year-old here. I’m gonna get some proper food, meats and vegetables and things with _substance_.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Dante took a bite of the first slice of his pizza, waving off his nephew. “Sounds boring but enjoy your trip. I’ll savour this pizza in your honour.”  
Nero placed a hand over his heart and gave a smile. “You’re too kind. I’ll be back in about an hour.” He fastened his coat and walked out of the building. The sky was dark and the streets empty, with no sign of any immanent demonic encounters.

Dante sighed. Business had been slow recently, with little action to engage with and no information that might be of any use to them. For once in his life, Dante was bored. The steady increase of _Devil May Cry’s_ personnel over the years meant that action had to split four ways with himself, Nero, Lady and Trish getting a cut of the action. It sucked the fun out of kicking demonic ass when the demon was always outmatched. And besides, he always felt lonely. He considered Lady and Trish his closest friends but felt somewhat left out due to the fact that he was male. He could never partake in the female banter between the two and was ignored when they arranged their Saturday outings to demolition derbies or spa treatments.  
Nero was also a permanent fixture to _Devil May Cry_ but his approach to the business was more serious than his uncle’s. His time was spent fighting demons, researching demons or shopping for dinner. And his favourite pizza topping was anchovies, which was weird.

Dante sucked a string of cheese off his pizza before taking another bite of the soft dough. Pizza was perhaps the one constant in his life, the one friend that was always there for him. Perhaps his loneliness also stemmed from the fact that he didn’t really have anyone besides the three people he worked with. He knew for a fact that Lady and Trish met up with new people on their outings. Nero had Kyrie (and oh, how he liked to remind him.) Even Vergil had somehow once mustered enough charisma to get some woman to sleep with him. Dante chewed through the dough, lamenting on the fact that he was on his way to becoming a forty-year-old virgin. He sucked the tomato sauce from his thumb and pulled another slice from the pizza box.  
Then he got an idea.  
He may have never got ‘The Talk’ but he had a vague idea of what sex was and what it should feel like; moist and warm.  
Just like a pizza.

Grinning, Dante unbuttoned his trousers and pulled down his zipper. Beneath the leather of his trousers and the cotton of his underwear, he was already half-hard in the genius of his plan. Let it be known from this day forward that Dante, Son of Sparda, fucked a slice of pizza. With the pizza slice still in his hand, Dante wrapped it around his dick. As expected, the slice was warm and slightly wet from the topping sauce which Dante supposed would provide adequate lubricant. Slowly, Dante moved the pizza from the base of his dick up to the tip, groaning as he did so. The spice from the pepperoni added a slight burning sensation along his shaft but it seemed to only add to the pleasure Dante was receiving. He couldn’t bring himself to think of a possible partner while he pleasured himself and instead focused on the pizza. Half eaten, it was still beautiful. A golden crust, pepperoni slightly charred and mozzarella cheese so smooth and creamy. His cock twitched as the thought about the pizza he was fucking.

The tomato sauce helped the slice glide up and down his member and Dante found himself thrusting into the strokes he was giving himself. He tightened his grip on the pizza and quickened his pace, trying hard not to cum right there and then.  
“Who-hooo…” He half-laughed under his breath, as the pleasure rose in his loins. The force of his masturbation had knocked a few pieces of pepperoni off the pizza and onto the floor and Dante made a mental note to clean them up later. The spice left by the pepperoni intensified the sensation at the tip of his dick and the sauce covering his entire length made him feel so warm. Fuck sex, this was better than sex. Dante began pumping more fervently now, until his entire body was engulfed by the sticky, wet feeling of tomato sauce and cheese dripping off his cock. Within seconds, orgasm hit him and his dick spasmed within the pizza parcel. The cum had thankfully not hit any of the pizza, but trickled down the edge of the desk and splattered on some paperwork.  
Dante placed the debauched pizza slice next to the rest of the pizza and wiped the spunk off the desk and sauce off his dick. When his genitals were no longer bright red, Dante buttoned up his trousers and picked up one of the unfucked pizza slices with a grin on his face. He finished off the remaining pizza slices in a smug, satisfied silence.

He almost forgot that Nero had left until he came back an hour later, drenched and holding a bag of groceries. Dante had been so invested in his pepperoni-fuelled fuck that he hadn’t noticed the weather outside. Nero shook rainwater out of his hair and proceeded to place down the foodstuffs and remove his jacket. Dante got another idea.

  
“Hey kid,” Nero looked over to his uncle, who was gesturing to his pizza box. “Saved you a slice.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was ich kann und was ich könnte   
> Weiß ich gar nicht mehr

**Author's Note:**

> tag urself im the fallen pepperoni


End file.
